This is a real email I received this morning from a Pakistani researcher:

Sir,

I need few research papers on my account. I am writing on my own.Because I have just 3 months and I have to complete 5 research papers. I can write 2-3 papers. I will be thankful to you if you please INCLUDE my name as 2nd, 3rd or 4th author in your research paper in any journal.

I will be thankful to you for that,

Regards,

Dude, what do you need me for? Use SCIgen and find some trash journal or conference that takes literally everything like that Schlangemann guy did.

(Editorial comparing the likely quality of the SCIgen papers and the 2-3 papers my correspondent intends to write himself omitted, because in a good 3 months I can write 2-3 papers myself and I have some pride in the quality of my own research. Maybe he is good enough to pull that part off. But somehow I doubt it.)